Varnish Quiz

          by Bill Rogers

 

       1) When I look at other boats:

         a) I adore varnish with loving looks       (5pts)

          b) I look at other things besides varnish  (3pts)

         c) I think weathered teak looks grand      (1pt)

 

     2) The varnish on my boat is done by:

         a) By me, myself and I alone       (1pt)

         b) By me and my spouse            (3pts)

         c) I pay professionals             (4pts)

          d) I make my crew do it            (5pts)       

 

     3) When I think of my boat, I recall:

          a) The big storm I survived               (3pts)

          b) Quiet evenings at a pretty anchorage   (3pts)

         c) Grand times sailing                    (1pt)

          d) Puttering around dockside, socializing

              and working, enjoying a day away from

              household chores                     (5pts)

     4) I am:

          a) 21-30 years old                  (5pts)

          b) 31-50 years old                  (3pts)

         c) 51-60 years old                  (1pt)

         d) 60+                              (0pts)

 

     5) I have:

          a) Never stripped varnish or cetol     (5pts)

         b) Did it once or twice before         (3pts)

         c) Stripped and varnished several times (1pt)

 

      6) I am now:

         a) Married with kids and job            (1pt)

         b) Married but wife and kids can         

             do without me.                      (2pts)

          b) Single                               (3pts)

         c) Unemployed or retired                (5pts)

 

     7) I visit my boat:

         1) Live on it!                   (5pts)

          2) Every week                    (3pts)

         3) Every one or two months       (1pts)

          4) Never                         (-50 pts)

 

     8) My boat is:

         1) Under cover                      (5pts)

         2) In a shady area                  (3pts)

         3) Exposed to sun and rain           (1pt)

 

     9) The weather in my area is:

         1) Sunny and warm everyday             (5pts)

         2) Nice in summer, cold in winter      (3pts)

         3) Cold, damp, windy all year around   (1pt)

 

    Scoring:

            45-31 points

               You are of highly regarded social status and

           know how to live up to your standards.

           Varnishing is the way to go!  You would

           be ashamed if you fell in with the low-life

           cetol crowd.  Do not listen to the ill advice

           of the lower dregs.  GO FOR IT!

 

         30-20 points     

               You are wise in and kind.  You listen well

           and are out to explore the limits of

           your freedom and enjoyment.  However

           you question too many things in life and

           the world looks increasingly gray.  You do

           not mix with the under-30 crowd.  Deciding

           whether to varnish or cetol your boat is more

           difficult than voting in a presidential election. 

 

         19-10 points

           You are in purgatory, neither blessed nor

           damned.  You are a man who knows more

           than he cares to admit.  You do not take

           advice from others.  You are a man with

           great foresight and do not take kindly to

           making the same mistake twice.  You know

           how to cetol a boat and are good at

           making excuses.

 

         10 or less

               You are a seasoned old salt.

             Wise in experience and ways.

             Newbies flock to you to hear your heroic

             sailing stories. Nobody wants your advice

             on how to keep a boat.